Retitled: How to be Self-Supportive

By Jerome Dechant

Dec. 28, 2011
(Edited Dec. 29, 2011)

NOTE:  I changed the title from "How to ask the right question" because the previous title didn't indicate the main ideas presented in this post which have to do more with developing self-supportive habits than asking the right question.  (The content of this blog is substantially the same, I just changed the title, and deleted the last paragraph.)

The questions you ask determine the answers you get.  If you don’t ask the right questions, you usually won’t get the answer you are actually seeking, so developing an understanding of how to ask the question which will result in receiving the answer you are actually seeking is important.  This knowledge and understanding will also carry over into the field of asking for things in your life experiencing as well.  The reason so many people get what they don’t want is because they don’t know how to present their desires in such a way that the universe received their desire and responses to it providing, as a result of that response, what they actually desired.

The answer to knowing how to ask the right question is in knowing what you are really asking to know, then presenting your question in such a way that facilitates the answer you are seeking.  (The answer is embedded in the question.)

The inspiration for this writing comes from a search criteria used to find information on the web, which led someone to my blogs.  To the person who provided this, thank you!  You are the source of my inspiration for this writing.  Without your searching, this writing would not have come forth.

The search keywords use were:  “how to motivate the self-saboteur”

The thoughts which came to me as I read that were of becoming a better self-saboteur.  I am pretty sure this person doesn’t want to become a better self-saboteur, but rather wants to know how to be motivated towards self-success; how to become motivated to thinking, acting and being a person who is consistently, in thought word and deed, in line with his/her intended life experiencing which expresses as joy, ease and fulfillment of desires.

Sabotage is defined as: disruption, damage, interruption and/or interference.

Self-sabotage is a habit.  Right now, it doesn’t matter how the habit got started.  What does matter is taking the behavior off autopilot (getting out of the rut, breaking the cycle,) and taking back control by intentionally developing another habit to replace the self-sabotage habit, which is the opposite of the self-saboteur habit.

Something you should know about habits

Habits form by consistently thinking, saying and doing the same thing over and over for an extended period of time.  (Practice)  What then happens is the body-mind establishes behavioral patterns sort of like ruts in an old dirt road which it continues to automatically follow.  The way this works is via the concept of the path of least resistance; energy automatically flows through the path of least resistance.

The behavior of a self-saboteur therefore is behavior wherein the person established the “ruts” of putting obstacles on the path of their live experiencing.  Initially, the obstacles may have served a good purpose in protecting the person and may have been a form of guidance which turned his/her course in life in such a way as to avoid harm.  Once the habit was formed though, the intention which initiated the habit was lost and the practice continued automatically, running like a well-oiled machine and even became better at the practice which then came to be defined as “self-sabotage.”

The antithesis of sabotage

In order to develop a habit of your own choosing, you must develop presence of mind and intention.  Practicing being mindful with intention and persist in establishing the desired habit until it occurs automatically with very little or no effort at all.

Learning to ride a bike is a beneficial habit of balance.  Once you establish the body-mind habit of balancing, all you have to do is get on the bike and go, you no longer have to struggle with finding your balance, it happens automatically and effortlessly.

To establish the antithesis of self-sabotage, one must replace the destructive, disruptive thoughts and behaviors with constructive and supportive thoughts and behaviors.  As one moves through his/her moment to moment life experiencing, and encounters a thought or activity which is not constructive and supportive of one’s desires, he/she makes use of that opportunity to shift from the old habit to the new habit.  This is where presence and mindfulness are important.  Without presence and mindfulness, the habit which is already established will automatically run its course.  So the game is to catch what’s going on while it’s going on, then switch it to constructive/supportive behavior.  With practice you will develop this habit as well, so persistence is essential.

Ammunition for change

You know you are going to be confronted with the self-sabotage habit, so having ammunition already in place will aid your successfully developing a new self-supportive habit.  You acquire the self-supportive habit ammunition in your times of mindfulness and presence, like this moment now.

So, you might say something like this:  “I know these “I can’t do it” thoughts are going to occur, so when they pop into my mind, I’m going to be alert to the fact I’m thinking “I can’t do it” and rejoice in that moment because I’ve come upon the opportunity to establish my new, “I can do it” attitude habit.  So not only do you switch thoughts, but you also take action in alignment with the “I can do it” attitude habit.

Thought, Word and Deed

“I can’t do it.”  Say it out loud, “Yes I can do it” then do it.

When you first start to learn a new behavior, you are likely to be faced with failure more than once before you finally experience a success.  Knowing that you are going to fall down a lot when learning to walk and going forward anyway is how we eventually learn to walk without falling down.  Being willing to fall, then get back up and take another step, over and over again enables the physical and mental establishment of habit which eventually results in being able to walk without falling down, and being able to do so without a thought of it at all. 

Be kind to yourself as you learn new behaviors, knowing failures are part of the learning process which will fuel your success so long as you remain intent on your desire and don’t let your failures cause you to give up. (Failures cause you to give up = self-sabotage which means you’ve lost sight of your intention or end result and become fixated on part of the path getting there.)

Did I answer the question which wasn’t properly asked?  I won’t know unless the person who posed the question lets me know.  Even without a response from the questioner, the information I’ve presented here is useful to those who are faced with the self-sabotage habit.

What is the purpose of a Mantra?

by Jerome Dechant
12/18/11

There may be more reasons to use an matra than I am going to write about here.  As I am aware of it, the primary purpose to use a Mantra is to develope intentional focus of the mental processes of the mind.  By repeating a mantra a meditator deliberately points his/her attention to that one thought or sounds, and keeps it there until he/she transcends the individual mind and melds with the universal vibration which is at the center of being, or becomes attuned to the vibration of the mantra so that there is only the vibration of the mantra, which means there is no longer a mantra and a meditator repeating it.

Practicing using a mantra

One should approach this practice with ease and gentleness rather than a firm hard determination to accomplish the goal of unity with the mantra.  When one repeats a mantra, then the mind wanders, return to the mantra when you notice the mind has wandered.  If you are just beginning to practice developing your intentional focus using a mantra, you may find your mind quickly wanders off to other subjects.  That is okay, just notice your thoughts have wandered, then return to repeating the mantra.  With practice, you will be able to spend more time focused repeating the mantra than with wandering thoughts.

Benifits

Developing the ability to intentionally focus on the subject of your choice has great benifits in your day to day life.  Becoming aware of the minds wanderings will allow you to observe how you've created the life experiences you are having, some of which may not be to your liking.  Vibrational alignment of attention towards the contents of wandering thoughts brings those things into our life experiencing.  With the development of intentional focus, one can intentionally align one's attention towards the desired "target".  With such developed attention skill, the manifestation of a desired result is empowered and enables quicker results.

Many mantras of a wandering mind.

Where the attention is places energy flows.  With this in mind, one can understand that an undiciplined mine has many mantras where it is flowing energy.  That's fine if where that energy is flowing is to your liking.  If you prefer being more selective about where your attention is place and therefore where your energy flows, you will do well to develop your skill of focus via the use of a mantra.

A simple Mantra

Love. 

Repeat is often, whenever your mind wanders, repeat it.  Whenever you notice you are moving out of your blissful state, repeat it.  Speak it in your mind gently as though you are holding a delicate flower.  Feel it as you hold it and repeat it.  Let the flower grow as you hold it gently and repeat the mantra.

Be kind and gentle with yourself as you practice and thereby most effectively progress on the path with gentle determination. 

Mantra for Lightbody

Infinite love fills my mind, and thrills my body with its perfect light.
Infinite love fills my mind, and thrills my body with its perfect live.
I am light, energy, consciousness and bliss.

What is Religion?

by Jerome Dechant
Dec. 15, 2011

In order for us to have a mutual understanding of what I write, it is often important to define certain words so the meaning intended to be conveyed is the same meaning the reader understands it to be in the particular writing.  With that in mind, I often look up the meaning of certain words, and then present the definition which matches the meaning I mean it to be convey.  So, I looked up the definition for the word “religion”.  There were several definitions listed.  The one I will springboard this writing off of is as follows:

“A cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith.”

There are many “systems of belief” available to us.  Most often, where we live and what our society has adopted as its primary “system of belief” will determine what our individual belief system is based upon.

Another aspect of the definition has to do with the practice of the concepts present within that system of beliefs, the ardor and faith by which we embody the system of beliefs.  Most often people think of religion as associated with a divine or Supreme Being which may be identified by many names.

There are 3 basic parts I’d like to focus upon in this writing; Supreme Being. systems of beliefs, and practice.

Supreme Being

I know you might have your own ideas that come to mind when you read or hear these words and whatever that is will certainly be based upon the system of beliefs you’ve been immersed in from the first day of your life expression here on earth.  For purposes of this writing, I ask you set aside those ideas for a while and consider what I offer here as another way of thinking about “supreme being”.

Defining “supreme”:  Highest in rank or authority, highest in degree or quality.

The word supreme therefore expresses the quality of being as the highest or best expression of being.  This is important to remember.  Supreme is a descriptive word which illuminates the quality and character of being.  With this definition in mind, one can realize being supreme is an attainable goal and possible for each of us to attain.

System of Beliefs

Defining “beliefs”:  conviction of the truth of some statement, or the reality of some being or phenomenon, especially when based on examination of evidence.

(It is worth noting that people hold beliefs which are not based on the reality of some being or phenomenon, or on examination of evidence.)

Defining “system”:  an organized set of doctrines, ideas, or principles usually intended to explain the arrangement or working of a systematic whole.

With these definitions, one might therefore understand a system of beliefs to be ideas/principles which explain and support the operation and organization of the beliefs.

Practice

Defining “practice”:  to perform or work at repeatedly to become proficient, to perform often or habitually.

Now, to put these parts together so we can more clearly see the big picture. 

Religion is a way of living life in which we habitually work at becoming more proficient at expressing our best or highest expression in being, based upon a system of ideas/principles and activities which support the unfolding and realization of our highest ideal self, or our “Supreme Beingness”. Embodying our Supreme Beingness is the goal of some religions, but not all religions.

With this understanding, the “Supreme Being” is the ideal we focus upon and strive to embody.  For most of us, this is a lifelong endeavor of practicing through adherence to established ideas, principles and methods of coming to the embodiment of our own supreme expression in being.

For those who are interested in sports, you know that a sports team wins championships by maintaining a focus and intention to become winners.  It takes dedication to the accomplishment of that goal in order to realize it.  Ask anyone who has been on a winning team, what it took for them to attain that excellent level of performance as a team.  If you are/were such a team member, you know firsthand what you had to do.  Often when you didn’t want to do it, you did it anyway because you knew it to be necessary.  Often the coach may have pushed you beyond the limits you didn’t think you could exceed, yet you did, and that is part of becoming a winner. Teams which do not have that dedication and determination fall short of being winners so long as they are not committed to being winners, to being better than they think they can be.

Some teams will never be winners even though they intend to be winners because the system of beliefs and practices they adhere to are not conducive to the accomplishment of the goal.  In other words, the team may expend a huge amount of effort and strive with utmost dedication and determination towards becoming winners, but because their practice is based upon a faulty belief system which doesn’t actually contribute favorably towards their becoming winners, their practice is in vein.

 

How do I know if my belief system and practices will lead me to being the best I can be? 

I am aware of the results I get because of practicing the teachings within the belief system I adhere to.  If I am not getting the results I intend to get, the evidence informs me I must adjust what I’m doing so that I do experience the results I intended.  In some cases, I must adopt a different belief system which has been proven effective.

If one establishes a personal life goal to embody his or her best expression in being, he/she will have to know that accomplishing this goal is possible.  Looking for evidence that someone or perhaps many others are already expressing/living the best attributes or qualities of their being is a good place to start.  Someone who already embodies his/her supreme beingness is an ideal example or model for one to emulate.  And, this is how systems of beliefs originate. People begin to following the example of someone who has already been there, and done that.  These systems of belief become a way of life.  In many cases, these teachings are passed down from generation to generation.  Through the passage of time, the practitioner may lose sight of the intended goal which is to embody one’s supreme beingness.  It may become more important to do the ritual properly rather than experience the intended results.

The reason there are many religions is because there are many ways to accomplish the same goal.  Some ways are more efficient and effective while other ways are not effective at all.   For this reason, people believe their “religion” is the best, or even the only way to embody supreme beingness.  And that is why they might say, “If you don’t follow our way, then you are damned”, which means you are bound to fail.  In a manner of speaking, they are correct, there IS only one way to accomplish the goal of embodying supreme beingness, and that ONE way, is the one way which works for you.  This is why there are many paths to the divine.  Each of us has our own path to the divine.

Some religions do not have a belief structure which leads its followers to experiencing their own supreme beingness, but rather direct their followers to be subservient to a higher power which they point to as The Supreme Being.  This sort of belief system purports that we are not capable of attaining to our own best expression in being,  therefore the best we can do is be of service to that unseen all knowing Supreme Being. This is not to say that being of service does not lead to the divine being, it does.  Being of service is yet another path to the divine.

What is the purpose of religion?

I would say there are a couple of purposes for religion which ultimately are the same purpose/reasons.

The primary purpose of my belief system is for me to practice consistently and fully embodying my best attributes in being.  The other side of that is therefore interacting with individuals and society, in the best possible way as I live my life.  For me, simplicity is the key to enabling this.  I believe life need not be complicated and difficult but rather easy, effortless and flowing.  I’ve found the best way for me to embody the best attributes of my being is to be fully present in this moment, expressing from the center of loving compassion.  As I walk this path, I am the light which lights the way for me to progress through my life expression.  We each are our own light which lights our own path through life expression.  Realizing this, we no longer need to look outside our self for fulfillment, but rather find it ever present, radiant from the center of our being.  This is to say, I don’t have to look to others to receive love because I am love itself.  As I am love, I appreciate it as it is reflected back to me through the life expression of those around me.

How does one get to the point of expressing/being this?  By adhering to a belief system with ardor, which guides you towards and supports the accomplishment of this goal.  If this is a goal you endeavor to accomplish, and you aren’t realizing progress towards this path of realization, you may want to consider whether the belief system you adhere to is helping you or hindering your progress towards realization of this goal.  You may want to consider what your intention is and whether your belief system is in alignment with your intention.

If you value your belief system more than the accomplishment of the goal the belief system is intended to lead you towards, that is like valuing a statue of Jesus more than the teachings his life expression embodied.  The result of worshiping a belief system is one of becoming a worshiper.  Valuing the belief system over the embodiment of its teachings will not lead you to the embodiment of the teachings.  Also, this is to say, exulting me and or others who present such ideas to you over embodying the ideas presented, will not be beneficial to you or me. In other words, I didn’t come here to be praised, but rather to help you on the path to your own realization.  If you would honor me, you will do so by effectively embodying the best attributes of your being and demonstrate the best attributes of your being for all the world to see.  This is the highest tribute you could pay to yourself, the world and me.

Practicing

As we move along the path of life, we might be presented with forks in the road where we have choices to go one way or another.  Sometimes it doesn’t make much difference which way we go and those are instances which both options still lead us closer to the embodiment of being the best we can be.  Being mindful of the goal when presented with these choices; consider which choice you are being presented will aide or hinder your progress.  If you should happen to choose a path that isn’t enabling you to progress towards being your best, realize you can always adjust your course so that you are once again back on course.  You don’t need to beat yourself up for taking a wrong turn, just make a correction and move on.

Religion is a life practice where we are good to others and our self, for the benefit of others and our self.

Why am I here?

By Jerome Dechant
Dec. 4, 2011

Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the point of everything? Why do we exist?

These are a few of the questions Roger Nygard poses in his movie and series titled, “The Nature of Existence”.  Since he asked many people these questions, and they each had their own answers, I am motivated to present my two cents worth to the pot of answers, and hopefully, once you have considered what I offer, you might find more clarity which will reveal the answers to these and other questions posed in the movies and life in general.

First I suggest you may find the answer to the questions within the questions itself, if you know how to approach this task.  Let me start with the first question: 

Why am I here?

There are levels of valid answers which could be provided in answer to this question, from the very basic mundane understanding answer, to the deepest understanding answer.  To break down the questions we must establish a common ground of understanding as to the terms used in the question, the terms which must be established for mutual understanding are, “I”, “am”, and “here”.

“Here”

Where is here?  The most mundane answer to this question is your current physical location so, my answer to this question from this perspective is, I am sitting in front of my computer, in my apartment, which is on the second floor of an apartment complex in the city of Mountain View, California which is on the west coast of the continent of North America on planet Earth which is the third planet in orbit around the Sun which is a star in the Milky Way Galaxy.  The actual physical location of this “here” is constantly changing because of the earth’s rotation around the Sun, and our solar system’s rotation and movement within the Galaxy.  So, if you were to want precise X, Y, Z coordinates (numerical values of latitude, longitude, and altitude,) of my “here” each moment those coordinates are changing so much so, that the coordinates when I first started typing this sentence are much different than the coordinates when I finished writing this sentence.  (I am not versed, nor do I have the means to present what those precise coordinates are, but I am certain these values are ever changing based upon the facts of planetary movements and galactic movements known to those who have a deep understanding of astronomy.)

“I”

The most mundane understanding of “I” is the identifying with the physical body personage located in the physical location described in the previous paragraph.  So, I am Jerry Dechant.

“Am”

“Am” is a state of presence in being.  This “am” is therefore, “I”, Jerry Dechant being located “here” in front of this computer.  “Am” is beingness, not only beingness but also beingness with awareness of presence.  (I know, this isn’t a mundane answer.)

With these terms defined, I can now answer the question, Why am I here?  The answer is simply to press these keyboard keys to type these words for you the reader to read at some “time” in the future.

I know Roger probably intended a deeper understanding as an answer to his question, “Why am I here?”  Something more esoteric possibly, and the esoteric answer is also contained within the mundane answer at a deeper level.  So that we have to peel off a layer to get to the next level of understanding, closer to the answer Roger likely intends to find.

From this deeper level the definitions of “I” and “here” expand or change.

“I” is really not the body which I named as Jerry Dechant above.  “I” is really not the body which is named, (insert your name here,) either.  “I” is an aware presence which perceives this moment in space and time via the mechanisms provided through the vehicle of the physical body and its senses. It, (“I”) is therefore not the body but the recipient aware beingness of the information the senses provide.  If and when the body should cease to function, from the external physical observation of an on looker, it would seem that the “I” is no longer present; therefore the person is considered to be dead.  Since “I” am aware presence, just because the body ceases to function does not follow that “I” cease to be or function.  Another way to comprehend this is, when you get into your car vehicle, and turn it on, it seems to come alive, it moves and appears to be directed by some intelligence as the car travels down the road, stops, turns and so on.  From an unaware perspective, it would seem that the car has come alive and moves around because it is alive, but from a clearer understanding, one knows the intelligence which controls the car resides within the car and is not the car.  When the driver leaves the car, it would seem the car is dead.  The driver does not cease to exist when he/she leaves the car.  In the same way, “I” do not cease to exist when “I” leave the vehicle of this body. 

For reinforcement of understanding and clarity purposes, I will state it again:

“I” is an aware presence which perceives this moment in space and time via the mechanisms provided through the vehicle of the physical body and its senses.

“Here” is not a specific X, Y, Z coordinate location but rather the ever present location from which “I” perceives and expresses within the time space expression.  “Here” therefore is the center from which “I” perceive and express.  From within the physical body via the senses the “here” changes as described previously in the mundane understanding, yet “here” is always at the center of it all as this point of awareness in being and expression.  From this understanding and perspective, manifestation moves and changes while “here” is ever the same.  And with this understanding it may be understood that “I” and “here” are inseparable.

“Am” is the “time” factor in the equation of “I” and “here”.  From the mundane understanding, time seems to move in a linear fashion from past to present to future similar to the way “here” changes X, Y, Z coordinates.  From a deeper understanding it is revealed that time does not exist.  Now is ever present, there is no beginning or end, no past or future.  Beginning and end, past, present and future are mundane understandings which presents “now” as ever changing.  So, now it is one o’clock, now it is two o’clock, etc.  From the mundane understanding, depending on where your “here” is, your now time is different than someone who is on the other side of the planet. From a deeper understanding, this now, right now is the same now regardless of the here location, there is only one now and it is always now.

You might come to recognize a common thread with regard to “now”, “here”, “I” and “Am”.  What is this commonality?

“Now” is always now.  “Here” is always here, “I” am always I.

That which is unchanging/unchangeable is TRUTH, and this TRUTH is the root of all expression in being.

With this understanding the “why” may be more clearly recognized.  It may be recognized that “I” determine, choose, define and create the “why”.

From the mundane perspective, each person has their own “why” answer and each person’s answer as to “why” is valid for him/her in the moment of giving their answer to the question “why”.  Also, like everything else from the mundane perspective, the “why” is subject to constant change depending upon time, place, and circumstance.

From a deeper perspective where “I” “Am” “Here” is always the same, the “why” is always the same as well.  What is the “why” which is always the same? To express beingness.

So to restate the question, “Why am I here?”  The simple answer is “To express beingness.”

I could have stated that answer at the beginning, but if I had, it wouldn’t have had the same awareness and meaning associated with it as it does now that you’ve read through this blog.

Upon further contemplation of this blog, the other questions* posed at the beginning may answer themselves in light of the understanding uncovered in answering the question “why am I here”.

*What is my purpose? What is the point of everything? Why do we exist?

If you are interested in reading my answers to these still pending questions, let me know.  I am glad to provide you with the clarity and understanding which is mine to offer.