What follows is something I wrote to a friend back in 2007. I came across it today and read it again. I think it is worth shareing so I am pasting it into this blog posting. (I've changed the person's name to protect his/her privacy.)
I think the central issue you presented below is a self esteem issue, and the other stuff is tied to that as a natural effect. So, the first thing I would suggest is forgive yourself for all the past decisions you made that didn't bring you the results you intended. Consider that those "bad choices," are gifts to you, to help you to learn to make decisions, to show you the results of making decisions on a whim, etc. Each experience in our life has a seed of fulfillment contained within it, that is to say, each bad thing that happens to us, has something good we can draw from it. That being so, review some of the things you pointed out below, and find the good that has come of it. When you find that good, be grateful and thankful that life has offered you this lesson, and that you've come away with a
better understanding of living in this life, being here now.
Here is another exercise you can do, and I'd recommend you do this for at least 30 days. Take some time each day to sit quietly by yourself with some paper and a pen or pencil, and for this, say 15 minutes or so, look around you and list all the things that you appreciate that are in your life right now. Each day, try to add something to that list and review what you've written the day before. Also, through out the day, observe those things in your life that you appreciate, and
bring greater joy and happiness into your moment by moment experience, and say to your self something like, "Thanks for this beautiful day." or whatever it happens to be. Getting in the habit of appreciating what you already have in your life experience is a huge step towards drawing more things to appreciate into your life. So, make this a fun thing to do. If you approach it as a chore, a job, or something undesirable, it won't bring you the satisfaction it is intended to. So approach it as a game and have fun with it.
If you have read my blogs, you've seen that I mention the Law of Attraction and teachings presented by Abraham through Ester Hicks. The main teaching presented in those writings is that we draw those things into our life by where we put our focus and attention, therefore, you can easily see that by paying so much attention to being unworthy, in financial trouble, etc., you have put a lot of attention upon that, and so that is what you get in return. The exercise I've stated above will work by moving your attention away from those things you don't want onto those things you do. It will take time, but if you persist, you will eventually reap the rewards of having so much in your life that you appreciate, that all that other
stuff will pale by comparison. And you can be grateful that those "hard times," lead you to seek guidance and put light upon your path to find your way out of it.
Here are some other ideas you can apply. With determination and focused attention they will result in life changing attitudes and experiences.
The main thing is to focus your attention upon what you want. For example, if you want to be financially secure, easily able to meet your bills and have plenty left over to afford a wonderful life, ask yourself this question, "How can I be and have financial abundance?" Listen to the inner voice for answers to the question. Keep asking yourself this question until some ideas pop into your mind. Then, if they are legal and feel good when these ideas come to you, act upon them. Not all ideas that come up will be great ideas that will bring abundance into your experience, but they will be a step in the right direction. Look for people in your life who you admire, who are happy, successful and have financial abundance, find out what they do, how they think, and adopt those attitudes and behaviors. If it feels good when you are thinking about it, when you are doing it, then you are making progress in the right direction. The inner guidance system is one of emotions, the better it feels, the closer to source you are aligned. (read my blog where I talk about the emotional guidance system.)
When you have repeated life experiences, that is life telling you, you didn't "get it" the first time you had that experience, so you continue to repeat those life experiences until you do "get it." So, what is it you need to get out of the life experiences that keep repeating themselves? The answers to that question is something for you to come up with and recognize. When you have an, "Ah Ha!" moment,
that is the graduation moment, the moment that you realize the answer and you will make changes in your attitude, thoughts and actions that will result in that lesson being learned and no long will it appear in your life experience.
All of this takes time, so be patient and persistent in maintaining your attention upon what you want. Each time your attention goes to something that doesn't make you feel good about yourself and your life experience, change your focus back to something that does make you feel good about yourself and your life experience, and do things that feed that fire of joy and abundance. A very good way to find that
good feeling is to help others without an expectation of receiving anything in return. Helping others for the sake of helping others holds a huge reward.
I hope this is helpful to you. Try at least one of the things I've offered here. Give it a chance to take root in your mind and heart, and I am certain, you will find the results you are seeking. Like I said, give it at least 30 days. Start today, and mark a smiley face on your calendar for each day you've found something to appreciate, for each day you've helped someone and you felt good about it, for each day you've appreciated yourself, you've loved yourself, and 30 days from now you can write back to me and tell me how it is going.
(Actually, you can write back anytime. I am glad to help. Also, please read through my old blogs, I think you will find useful information there.)
Thanks for being here. I appreciate your consideration and asking.