Retitled: How to be Self-Supportive

By Jerome Dechant

Dec. 28, 2011
(Edited Dec. 29, 2011)

NOTE:  I changed the title from "How to ask the right question" because the previous title didn't indicate the main ideas presented in this post which have to do more with developing self-supportive habits than asking the right question.  (The content of this blog is substantially the same, I just changed the title, and deleted the last paragraph.)

The questions you ask determine the answers you get.  If you don’t ask the right questions, you usually won’t get the answer you are actually seeking, so developing an understanding of how to ask the question which will result in receiving the answer you are actually seeking is important.  This knowledge and understanding will also carry over into the field of asking for things in your life experiencing as well.  The reason so many people get what they don’t want is because they don’t know how to present their desires in such a way that the universe received their desire and responses to it providing, as a result of that response, what they actually desired.

The answer to knowing how to ask the right question is in knowing what you are really asking to know, then presenting your question in such a way that facilitates the answer you are seeking.  (The answer is embedded in the question.)

The inspiration for this writing comes from a search criteria used to find information on the web, which led someone to my blogs.  To the person who provided this, thank you!  You are the source of my inspiration for this writing.  Without your searching, this writing would not have come forth.

The search keywords use were:  “how to motivate the self-saboteur”

The thoughts which came to me as I read that were of becoming a better self-saboteur.  I am pretty sure this person doesn’t want to become a better self-saboteur, but rather wants to know how to be motivated towards self-success; how to become motivated to thinking, acting and being a person who is consistently, in thought word and deed, in line with his/her intended life experiencing which expresses as joy, ease and fulfillment of desires.

Sabotage is defined as: disruption, damage, interruption and/or interference.

Self-sabotage is a habit.  Right now, it doesn’t matter how the habit got started.  What does matter is taking the behavior off autopilot (getting out of the rut, breaking the cycle,) and taking back control by intentionally developing another habit to replace the self-sabotage habit, which is the opposite of the self-saboteur habit.

Something you should know about habits

Habits form by consistently thinking, saying and doing the same thing over and over for an extended period of time.  (Practice)  What then happens is the body-mind establishes behavioral patterns sort of like ruts in an old dirt road which it continues to automatically follow.  The way this works is via the concept of the path of least resistance; energy automatically flows through the path of least resistance.

The behavior of a self-saboteur therefore is behavior wherein the person established the “ruts” of putting obstacles on the path of their live experiencing.  Initially, the obstacles may have served a good purpose in protecting the person and may have been a form of guidance which turned his/her course in life in such a way as to avoid harm.  Once the habit was formed though, the intention which initiated the habit was lost and the practice continued automatically, running like a well-oiled machine and even became better at the practice which then came to be defined as “self-sabotage.”

The antithesis of sabotage

In order to develop a habit of your own choosing, you must develop presence of mind and intention.  Practicing being mindful with intention and persist in establishing the desired habit until it occurs automatically with very little or no effort at all.

Learning to ride a bike is a beneficial habit of balance.  Once you establish the body-mind habit of balancing, all you have to do is get on the bike and go, you no longer have to struggle with finding your balance, it happens automatically and effortlessly.

To establish the antithesis of self-sabotage, one must replace the destructive, disruptive thoughts and behaviors with constructive and supportive thoughts and behaviors.  As one moves through his/her moment to moment life experiencing, and encounters a thought or activity which is not constructive and supportive of one’s desires, he/she makes use of that opportunity to shift from the old habit to the new habit.  This is where presence and mindfulness are important.  Without presence and mindfulness, the habit which is already established will automatically run its course.  So the game is to catch what’s going on while it’s going on, then switch it to constructive/supportive behavior.  With practice you will develop this habit as well, so persistence is essential.

Ammunition for change

You know you are going to be confronted with the self-sabotage habit, so having ammunition already in place will aid your successfully developing a new self-supportive habit.  You acquire the self-supportive habit ammunition in your times of mindfulness and presence, like this moment now.

So, you might say something like this:  “I know these “I can’t do it” thoughts are going to occur, so when they pop into my mind, I’m going to be alert to the fact I’m thinking “I can’t do it” and rejoice in that moment because I’ve come upon the opportunity to establish my new, “I can do it” attitude habit.  So not only do you switch thoughts, but you also take action in alignment with the “I can do it” attitude habit.

Thought, Word and Deed

“I can’t do it.”  Say it out loud, “Yes I can do it” then do it.

When you first start to learn a new behavior, you are likely to be faced with failure more than once before you finally experience a success.  Knowing that you are going to fall down a lot when learning to walk and going forward anyway is how we eventually learn to walk without falling down.  Being willing to fall, then get back up and take another step, over and over again enables the physical and mental establishment of habit which eventually results in being able to walk without falling down, and being able to do so without a thought of it at all. 

Be kind to yourself as you learn new behaviors, knowing failures are part of the learning process which will fuel your success so long as you remain intent on your desire and don’t let your failures cause you to give up. (Failures cause you to give up = self-sabotage which means you’ve lost sight of your intention or end result and become fixated on part of the path getting there.)

Did I answer the question which wasn’t properly asked?  I won’t know unless the person who posed the question lets me know.  Even without a response from the questioner, the information I’ve presented here is useful to those who are faced with the self-sabotage habit.

What is the purpose of a Mantra?

by Jerome Dechant
12/18/11

There may be more reasons to use an matra than I am going to write about here.  As I am aware of it, the primary purpose to use a Mantra is to develope intentional focus of the mental processes of the mind.  By repeating a mantra a meditator deliberately points his/her attention to that one thought or sounds, and keeps it there until he/she transcends the individual mind and melds with the universal vibration which is at the center of being, or becomes attuned to the vibration of the mantra so that there is only the vibration of the mantra, which means there is no longer a mantra and a meditator repeating it.

Practicing using a mantra

One should approach this practice with ease and gentleness rather than a firm hard determination to accomplish the goal of unity with the mantra.  When one repeats a mantra, then the mind wanders, return to the mantra when you notice the mind has wandered.  If you are just beginning to practice developing your intentional focus using a mantra, you may find your mind quickly wanders off to other subjects.  That is okay, just notice your thoughts have wandered, then return to repeating the mantra.  With practice, you will be able to spend more time focused repeating the mantra than with wandering thoughts.

Benifits

Developing the ability to intentionally focus on the subject of your choice has great benifits in your day to day life.  Becoming aware of the minds wanderings will allow you to observe how you've created the life experiences you are having, some of which may not be to your liking.  Vibrational alignment of attention towards the contents of wandering thoughts brings those things into our life experiencing.  With the development of intentional focus, one can intentionally align one's attention towards the desired "target".  With such developed attention skill, the manifestation of a desired result is empowered and enables quicker results.

Many mantras of a wandering mind.

Where the attention is places energy flows.  With this in mind, one can understand that an undiciplined mine has many mantras where it is flowing energy.  That's fine if where that energy is flowing is to your liking.  If you prefer being more selective about where your attention is place and therefore where your energy flows, you will do well to develop your skill of focus via the use of a mantra.

A simple Mantra

Love. 

Repeat is often, whenever your mind wanders, repeat it.  Whenever you notice you are moving out of your blissful state, repeat it.  Speak it in your mind gently as though you are holding a delicate flower.  Feel it as you hold it and repeat it.  Let the flower grow as you hold it gently and repeat the mantra.

Be kind and gentle with yourself as you practice and thereby most effectively progress on the path with gentle determination. 

Mantra for Lightbody

Infinite love fills my mind, and thrills my body with its perfect light.
Infinite love fills my mind, and thrills my body with its perfect live.
I am light, energy, consciousness and bliss.

What is Religion?

by Jerome Dechant
Dec. 15, 2011

In order for us to have a mutual understanding of what I write, it is often important to define certain words so the meaning intended to be conveyed is the same meaning the reader understands it to be in the particular writing.  With that in mind, I often look up the meaning of certain words, and then present the definition which matches the meaning I mean it to be convey.  So, I looked up the definition for the word “religion”.  There were several definitions listed.  The one I will springboard this writing off of is as follows:

“A cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith.”

There are many “systems of belief” available to us.  Most often, where we live and what our society has adopted as its primary “system of belief” will determine what our individual belief system is based upon.

Another aspect of the definition has to do with the practice of the concepts present within that system of beliefs, the ardor and faith by which we embody the system of beliefs.  Most often people think of religion as associated with a divine or Supreme Being which may be identified by many names.

There are 3 basic parts I’d like to focus upon in this writing; Supreme Being. systems of beliefs, and practice.

Supreme Being

I know you might have your own ideas that come to mind when you read or hear these words and whatever that is will certainly be based upon the system of beliefs you’ve been immersed in from the first day of your life expression here on earth.  For purposes of this writing, I ask you set aside those ideas for a while and consider what I offer here as another way of thinking about “supreme being”.

Defining “supreme”:  Highest in rank or authority, highest in degree or quality.

The word supreme therefore expresses the quality of being as the highest or best expression of being.  This is important to remember.  Supreme is a descriptive word which illuminates the quality and character of being.  With this definition in mind, one can realize being supreme is an attainable goal and possible for each of us to attain.

System of Beliefs

Defining “beliefs”:  conviction of the truth of some statement, or the reality of some being or phenomenon, especially when based on examination of evidence.

(It is worth noting that people hold beliefs which are not based on the reality of some being or phenomenon, or on examination of evidence.)

Defining “system”:  an organized set of doctrines, ideas, or principles usually intended to explain the arrangement or working of a systematic whole.

With these definitions, one might therefore understand a system of beliefs to be ideas/principles which explain and support the operation and organization of the beliefs.

Practice

Defining “practice”:  to perform or work at repeatedly to become proficient, to perform often or habitually.

Now, to put these parts together so we can more clearly see the big picture. 

Religion is a way of living life in which we habitually work at becoming more proficient at expressing our best or highest expression in being, based upon a system of ideas/principles and activities which support the unfolding and realization of our highest ideal self, or our “Supreme Beingness”. Embodying our Supreme Beingness is the goal of some religions, but not all religions.

With this understanding, the “Supreme Being” is the ideal we focus upon and strive to embody.  For most of us, this is a lifelong endeavor of practicing through adherence to established ideas, principles and methods of coming to the embodiment of our own supreme expression in being.

For those who are interested in sports, you know that a sports team wins championships by maintaining a focus and intention to become winners.  It takes dedication to the accomplishment of that goal in order to realize it.  Ask anyone who has been on a winning team, what it took for them to attain that excellent level of performance as a team.  If you are/were such a team member, you know firsthand what you had to do.  Often when you didn’t want to do it, you did it anyway because you knew it to be necessary.  Often the coach may have pushed you beyond the limits you didn’t think you could exceed, yet you did, and that is part of becoming a winner. Teams which do not have that dedication and determination fall short of being winners so long as they are not committed to being winners, to being better than they think they can be.

Some teams will never be winners even though they intend to be winners because the system of beliefs and practices they adhere to are not conducive to the accomplishment of the goal.  In other words, the team may expend a huge amount of effort and strive with utmost dedication and determination towards becoming winners, but because their practice is based upon a faulty belief system which doesn’t actually contribute favorably towards their becoming winners, their practice is in vein.

 

How do I know if my belief system and practices will lead me to being the best I can be? 

I am aware of the results I get because of practicing the teachings within the belief system I adhere to.  If I am not getting the results I intend to get, the evidence informs me I must adjust what I’m doing so that I do experience the results I intended.  In some cases, I must adopt a different belief system which has been proven effective.

If one establishes a personal life goal to embody his or her best expression in being, he/she will have to know that accomplishing this goal is possible.  Looking for evidence that someone or perhaps many others are already expressing/living the best attributes or qualities of their being is a good place to start.  Someone who already embodies his/her supreme beingness is an ideal example or model for one to emulate.  And, this is how systems of beliefs originate. People begin to following the example of someone who has already been there, and done that.  These systems of belief become a way of life.  In many cases, these teachings are passed down from generation to generation.  Through the passage of time, the practitioner may lose sight of the intended goal which is to embody one’s supreme beingness.  It may become more important to do the ritual properly rather than experience the intended results.

The reason there are many religions is because there are many ways to accomplish the same goal.  Some ways are more efficient and effective while other ways are not effective at all.   For this reason, people believe their “religion” is the best, or even the only way to embody supreme beingness.  And that is why they might say, “If you don’t follow our way, then you are damned”, which means you are bound to fail.  In a manner of speaking, they are correct, there IS only one way to accomplish the goal of embodying supreme beingness, and that ONE way, is the one way which works for you.  This is why there are many paths to the divine.  Each of us has our own path to the divine.

Some religions do not have a belief structure which leads its followers to experiencing their own supreme beingness, but rather direct their followers to be subservient to a higher power which they point to as The Supreme Being.  This sort of belief system purports that we are not capable of attaining to our own best expression in being,  therefore the best we can do is be of service to that unseen all knowing Supreme Being. This is not to say that being of service does not lead to the divine being, it does.  Being of service is yet another path to the divine.

What is the purpose of religion?

I would say there are a couple of purposes for religion which ultimately are the same purpose/reasons.

The primary purpose of my belief system is for me to practice consistently and fully embodying my best attributes in being.  The other side of that is therefore interacting with individuals and society, in the best possible way as I live my life.  For me, simplicity is the key to enabling this.  I believe life need not be complicated and difficult but rather easy, effortless and flowing.  I’ve found the best way for me to embody the best attributes of my being is to be fully present in this moment, expressing from the center of loving compassion.  As I walk this path, I am the light which lights the way for me to progress through my life expression.  We each are our own light which lights our own path through life expression.  Realizing this, we no longer need to look outside our self for fulfillment, but rather find it ever present, radiant from the center of our being.  This is to say, I don’t have to look to others to receive love because I am love itself.  As I am love, I appreciate it as it is reflected back to me through the life expression of those around me.

How does one get to the point of expressing/being this?  By adhering to a belief system with ardor, which guides you towards and supports the accomplishment of this goal.  If this is a goal you endeavor to accomplish, and you aren’t realizing progress towards this path of realization, you may want to consider whether the belief system you adhere to is helping you or hindering your progress towards realization of this goal.  You may want to consider what your intention is and whether your belief system is in alignment with your intention.

If you value your belief system more than the accomplishment of the goal the belief system is intended to lead you towards, that is like valuing a statue of Jesus more than the teachings his life expression embodied.  The result of worshiping a belief system is one of becoming a worshiper.  Valuing the belief system over the embodiment of its teachings will not lead you to the embodiment of the teachings.  Also, this is to say, exulting me and or others who present such ideas to you over embodying the ideas presented, will not be beneficial to you or me. In other words, I didn’t come here to be praised, but rather to help you on the path to your own realization.  If you would honor me, you will do so by effectively embodying the best attributes of your being and demonstrate the best attributes of your being for all the world to see.  This is the highest tribute you could pay to yourself, the world and me.

Practicing

As we move along the path of life, we might be presented with forks in the road where we have choices to go one way or another.  Sometimes it doesn’t make much difference which way we go and those are instances which both options still lead us closer to the embodiment of being the best we can be.  Being mindful of the goal when presented with these choices; consider which choice you are being presented will aide or hinder your progress.  If you should happen to choose a path that isn’t enabling you to progress towards being your best, realize you can always adjust your course so that you are once again back on course.  You don’t need to beat yourself up for taking a wrong turn, just make a correction and move on.

Religion is a life practice where we are good to others and our self, for the benefit of others and our self.

Why am I here?

By Jerome Dechant
Dec. 4, 2011

Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is the point of everything? Why do we exist?

These are a few of the questions Roger Nygard poses in his movie and series titled, “The Nature of Existence”.  Since he asked many people these questions, and they each had their own answers, I am motivated to present my two cents worth to the pot of answers, and hopefully, once you have considered what I offer, you might find more clarity which will reveal the answers to these and other questions posed in the movies and life in general.

First I suggest you may find the answer to the questions within the questions itself, if you know how to approach this task.  Let me start with the first question: 

Why am I here?

There are levels of valid answers which could be provided in answer to this question, from the very basic mundane understanding answer, to the deepest understanding answer.  To break down the questions we must establish a common ground of understanding as to the terms used in the question, the terms which must be established for mutual understanding are, “I”, “am”, and “here”.

“Here”

Where is here?  The most mundane answer to this question is your current physical location so, my answer to this question from this perspective is, I am sitting in front of my computer, in my apartment, which is on the second floor of an apartment complex in the city of Mountain View, California which is on the west coast of the continent of North America on planet Earth which is the third planet in orbit around the Sun which is a star in the Milky Way Galaxy.  The actual physical location of this “here” is constantly changing because of the earth’s rotation around the Sun, and our solar system’s rotation and movement within the Galaxy.  So, if you were to want precise X, Y, Z coordinates (numerical values of latitude, longitude, and altitude,) of my “here” each moment those coordinates are changing so much so, that the coordinates when I first started typing this sentence are much different than the coordinates when I finished writing this sentence.  (I am not versed, nor do I have the means to present what those precise coordinates are, but I am certain these values are ever changing based upon the facts of planetary movements and galactic movements known to those who have a deep understanding of astronomy.)

“I”

The most mundane understanding of “I” is the identifying with the physical body personage located in the physical location described in the previous paragraph.  So, I am Jerry Dechant.

“Am”

“Am” is a state of presence in being.  This “am” is therefore, “I”, Jerry Dechant being located “here” in front of this computer.  “Am” is beingness, not only beingness but also beingness with awareness of presence.  (I know, this isn’t a mundane answer.)

With these terms defined, I can now answer the question, Why am I here?  The answer is simply to press these keyboard keys to type these words for you the reader to read at some “time” in the future.

I know Roger probably intended a deeper understanding as an answer to his question, “Why am I here?”  Something more esoteric possibly, and the esoteric answer is also contained within the mundane answer at a deeper level.  So that we have to peel off a layer to get to the next level of understanding, closer to the answer Roger likely intends to find.

From this deeper level the definitions of “I” and “here” expand or change.

“I” is really not the body which I named as Jerry Dechant above.  “I” is really not the body which is named, (insert your name here,) either.  “I” is an aware presence which perceives this moment in space and time via the mechanisms provided through the vehicle of the physical body and its senses. It, (“I”) is therefore not the body but the recipient aware beingness of the information the senses provide.  If and when the body should cease to function, from the external physical observation of an on looker, it would seem that the “I” is no longer present; therefore the person is considered to be dead.  Since “I” am aware presence, just because the body ceases to function does not follow that “I” cease to be or function.  Another way to comprehend this is, when you get into your car vehicle, and turn it on, it seems to come alive, it moves and appears to be directed by some intelligence as the car travels down the road, stops, turns and so on.  From an unaware perspective, it would seem that the car has come alive and moves around because it is alive, but from a clearer understanding, one knows the intelligence which controls the car resides within the car and is not the car.  When the driver leaves the car, it would seem the car is dead.  The driver does not cease to exist when he/she leaves the car.  In the same way, “I” do not cease to exist when “I” leave the vehicle of this body. 

For reinforcement of understanding and clarity purposes, I will state it again:

“I” is an aware presence which perceives this moment in space and time via the mechanisms provided through the vehicle of the physical body and its senses.

“Here” is not a specific X, Y, Z coordinate location but rather the ever present location from which “I” perceives and expresses within the time space expression.  “Here” therefore is the center from which “I” perceive and express.  From within the physical body via the senses the “here” changes as described previously in the mundane understanding, yet “here” is always at the center of it all as this point of awareness in being and expression.  From this understanding and perspective, manifestation moves and changes while “here” is ever the same.  And with this understanding it may be understood that “I” and “here” are inseparable.

“Am” is the “time” factor in the equation of “I” and “here”.  From the mundane understanding, time seems to move in a linear fashion from past to present to future similar to the way “here” changes X, Y, Z coordinates.  From a deeper understanding it is revealed that time does not exist.  Now is ever present, there is no beginning or end, no past or future.  Beginning and end, past, present and future are mundane understandings which presents “now” as ever changing.  So, now it is one o’clock, now it is two o’clock, etc.  From the mundane understanding, depending on where your “here” is, your now time is different than someone who is on the other side of the planet. From a deeper understanding, this now, right now is the same now regardless of the here location, there is only one now and it is always now.

You might come to recognize a common thread with regard to “now”, “here”, “I” and “Am”.  What is this commonality?

“Now” is always now.  “Here” is always here, “I” am always I.

That which is unchanging/unchangeable is TRUTH, and this TRUTH is the root of all expression in being.

With this understanding the “why” may be more clearly recognized.  It may be recognized that “I” determine, choose, define and create the “why”.

From the mundane perspective, each person has their own “why” answer and each person’s answer as to “why” is valid for him/her in the moment of giving their answer to the question “why”.  Also, like everything else from the mundane perspective, the “why” is subject to constant change depending upon time, place, and circumstance.

From a deeper perspective where “I” “Am” “Here” is always the same, the “why” is always the same as well.  What is the “why” which is always the same? To express beingness.

So to restate the question, “Why am I here?”  The simple answer is “To express beingness.”

I could have stated that answer at the beginning, but if I had, it wouldn’t have had the same awareness and meaning associated with it as it does now that you’ve read through this blog.

Upon further contemplation of this blog, the other questions* posed at the beginning may answer themselves in light of the understanding uncovered in answering the question “why am I here”.

*What is my purpose? What is the point of everything? Why do we exist?

If you are interested in reading my answers to these still pending questions, let me know.  I am glad to provide you with the clarity and understanding which is mine to offer.

The Foundation

By Jerome Dechant

Nov. 15, 2011

The foundation of any structure is the support which sustains and maintains that which is built upon it.  If the foundation is insufficient to the structure which is to be built upon it, then it does not serve the structure well.  If the foundation is more than sufficient to support the structure to be built upon it, then the structure can be built with confidence and will likely stand well supported by that grand foundation.

Even a grand foundation is not sufficient if it is constructed upon unstable ground, such as sand or mud.  The best foundations are those built upon firm solid ground and where possible, bedrock for added stability and longevity.

Why am I writing about construction tips?  Because we each have a foundation upon which our life is built and supported.  If that foundation is insufficient to the life we wish to live, the foundation will falter and cause the structure of our life to collapse or fail when we attempt anything which exceeds the capacity of the foundation we’ve built our life upon.

If we have a broad firm foundation, we can build a grand life and be well supported by the foundation we’ve built our life upon.

Where we build or place the foundation of our life determines whether the structure of our life will be stable and firm, or unstable and shifting or faltering, therefore the location of our foundation is equally if not more important than the foundation itself.

The bedrock of life is the most firm footing upon which we can place the foundation of our life.  So you might ask, “What or where is the bedrock of life, the best footing to build my life foundation upon?”

The bedrock is the source of creation, the primary principle upon which all other expressions are based and spring forth from.  It is firm and sound in that it was, and will always be the same.

The location where we choose to place the foundation of our life is therefore a point of identity.  That is to say, if we identify with Source primarily, we place our life foundation upon firm ground.  If, on the other hand, we identify primarily with our body, our job, where we live, what we do, who we are with, etc., those locations are not stable, therefore not a good location to place the foundation of our life.  They aren’t adequate because, they are unstable, shifting, always changing.  If you should choose to identify primarily with your body and environment, then build for life based upon that identity, you can be sure that with the passage of time, there will be shifts and instability in your life experiencing, even if your foundation is a good one, broad and firm.

So, location is equal to that which you primarily identify with.  If you don’t know where your source is, or how to align your identity with it, meditation is a good practice to develop that relationship and awareness.  And a good guide which indicates your proximity to identifying with Source is your emotions/feelings.  I’ve written other blogs which expand upon the “Emotional Guidance System,” with information based upon ideas presented by Abraham-Hicks.

So the location is your primary point of identity, the foundation is the intention which you build your life experiencing upon.

For purposes of illustration, I will share the foundational intentions for my life, and why they serve me well.

The broadest most general intention I hold is to enjoy my life.  This is a very broad intention which can be experienced regardless of time, place or conditions which are constantly changing in my life experiencing.

To be more specific in stating my life intention, I state that I intend to enjoy what I’m doing, who I’m doing it with, and where I am doing it.  These identifiers will tend to bring people into my life experience which contribute to my life enjoyment, they will tend to bring me to places I enjoy being, and lead me to do things I enjoy doing.  Another way of this being experienced is because joy wells up from within me, from the source of my being, the experiencing of joy is not dependent upon people, places or things but rather is the truest, most enduring attribute of my being which fills my life experiencing via the people, places and things expressing in my life.  The joy of my life, the enjoyment of my life radiates from the Source at the center/heart of my being and I experience this joy through all the life expressions which surround me.

Establishing a broad, general intention first, then adding more definition to the general intention helps to more clearly identify how those intentions can and will show up in life experiencing.  Joy will be the essence of whatever forms life experiencing expresses so that I don’t need to specifically identify the forms. 

To specifically identify the forms through which joy is allowed to express, limits the possibilities of its expression.  That is to say, for example, if I were to say, I intend to have this specific car, or this specific person in my life in order to experience joy, that is a very narrow intention based upon form and therefore not essence.

To further illustrate this idea, where my intention is to own a new car, I might add definition to it by saying, I want it to be a new 2012 red Ferrari Viper with black leather interior, the best stereo system, manual transmission, power windows, etc..  This sort of intention allows for the car which best aligns with my foundational intention to be manifest in my life. This sort of definition allows the universe to provide to me a car which aligns with my broad foundational intention and more specific intention, specific to the car form.

A similar approach could be used to identify a person who I’d like to have as a life partner.  Rather than saying my life partner has to be specifically this one person, I identify the characteristics or essence this person has I find appealing such as his appearance, his integrity of character, his sense of humor, his affections towards me and his loving, caring acceptance of me, our interests and intentions matching, and so on.  This way, I’ve defined the essence of the person which allows the universe to bring to me the perfect person who aligns with my foundational intention to enjoy my life and to enjoy who I am with.

So, consider your broad life intention when defining the essence of the form it takes in your life so that the intention, essence and form are in alignment.  In this way you can identify your specific preferences and find their expression manifesting most readily in your life experiencing.

And, when you don’t express a specific preference for a person, place, thing or experience, the foundational intention will automatically come into expression as enjoying life.  When you make it more important to enjoy your life, than the who what when and where of its expression, you allow for the greatest possibilities the universe can offer so that life is somewhat of a mystery but always assured of being enjoyable.

In summary:

The location (what you primarily identify with,) is most important when deciding where to place your life foundation.

The foundation is the general broad intention which encompasses fully the essence of your life.

1.     Consider first your primary intention, (I want to enjoy my life.)

2.     Align the essence of what you desire with your primary intention, (I want to enjoy who I am with.)

3.     Define your preferred form. (I want him\her to have these characteristics…)

If you choose to try out these ideas, give them ample opportunity to develop roots and grow in your life experiencing.  If you nurture these ideas, they will produce the fruits of life experiencing you most desire.  Take some time to recognize where your primary identity is, and consider shifting it towards the identity which is most stable, enduring and true.  Establish one broad general intention as the foundation upon which you build your life experiencing and refer back to it each time you desire something new or specific in your life experience.  Make sure your new desires are built upon the foundation and you will be sure to have a wonderful life.

Best regards,

Jerry

Words without Emotion

By Jerome Dechant

Nov. 7, 2011

Everything you have ever read, and likely will ever read, is words without emotion.

Words may portray emotions, but in and of themselves, words are purely intellectual. Just as the word “apple” isn’t an apple, the word “love” isn’t love either. Words may be able describe an apple or love, but all words and therefore the intellect, falls short of the actual experiencing of an apple or love. If you truly want to know an apple, you must find one and experience it firsthand. If you want to know love, you must experience it firsthand. No book will ever satisfy the full understanding contained within the firsthand experiencing of a person, place or thing.

You might be able to find apples at a store near you, or you might be able to pick some off a tree. You will find apples are similar in many ways but none of them is exactly the same, even when picked from the same tree. The same might be said of love, that is to say, there are many expressions of love and while they all might have similarities, each expression is unique. Where do you find love? Most people look outside of themselves to people, places and things to find love, but in fact you will only find love welling up from within yourself because at the heart of your being is where love most fully resides. Love is a multi-colored emotion which wells up from within our heart while words are intellectual, black and white and reside within the mind.

When the mind (intellect,) and heart (emotions,) come together, and combine their attributes, something new is created, something which is greater than the parts. Wisdom.

Because love is one range of colors within the full color spectrum of the rainbow of emotions, it is only one part of the emotional color palate of expression the heart may express and therefore you may experience. That being true, we each may have preferences for the “color” of our emotional expression, and based upon that preference, we will tend to color the colorless, black and white intellectual material with that coloration. You might understand this better by the saying, “She sees the world through rose colored lenses.” If you are wearing rose colored glasses, everything you look upon has a rose colored tint to it. In the same way, if your predominate color of expression is within the anger range of the emotional spectrum, everything you read will be colored by that anger. If your predominate color of expression is doubt, everything you read will be colored by doubt.

Knowledge without the temperance of the heart can be cruel and “heartless” when applied to life experiencing, and actually, knowledge without an emotional quality to guide it is more often than not, the cause of hardships in our life experiencing.

When a person is predominately driven by the intellect, the cold, hard facts, the black and white of words, is the realm of his/her expression. Logic is the main tool an intellectually focused person is likely to use as the guiding force within his/her expression. Logic typically is indifferent to and doesn’t include emotions into the equation because emotions add unclear variables which are hard, if not impossible, to make fit into a logical box of expression.
 Words facilitate the Intellectual comprehension of thought and ideas. So reading this purely from an intellectual perspective, one may tend to consider what is written to determine whether what is written is logical or not. You may know, through your own experiencing right now, whether you are therefore predominately focusing from the intellectual perspective, if somewhere within you, a voice just said, “that sounds logical.”

A wise person will likely read this, see the logic of it, and then look to the heart to see how it feels as well. (A wise person is one who combines the attributes of the intellect and the heart to express something greater than the separate parts combined.) If a wise person understands his/her emotional preference in expression, he/she will evaluate what is written from a clearer perspective than one who doesn’t know and understand his/her predominate emotional expression.

A wise and clever writer will steer the reader towards the emotional expression he/she intends the reader to experience during the reading. Because the reader is at the helm of his/her life experiencing, whether that “steering” is heeded or not, is totally up to the reader. Once again, I say, because words do not contain emotion, the reader provides that part of the equation.

I must confess right here, I do not intend to be clever and to steer you towards an emotion I think you should be having right now. Whatever your conscious or unconscious choice of emotional expression at this moment is, I leave within your capable hands to choose. One thing I suggest though is that you intentionally choose a color of emotion to read this blog from, then read it from that “color” and notice how the reading of this blog changes for you. If you try this, from really different colors, you might come to better understand that how you perceive what is written is colored by your choices, whether conscious or unconsciously made.

The deepest wisdom reader will read this with crystal clarity, distorting it not with his/her own color perception. He/she will see it clearly as it is in radiant beauty, compassion and full understanding.

 Thank you for staying with me throughout this blog journey.

 Best regards,

Jerry

When Fear Stops You from Making Choices

by Jerome Dechant, Nov. 4, 2011

A friend recently posted a note on his Facebook page which has inspired this blog.  He said in part, “I'm smitten with the notion of romance, but I'm terrified of making the wrong choice.”  (I am pretty sure he doesn't read my blogs, but if he is reading this, thank you for inspiring this blog.)

So, if you are terrified of making the wrong choice, what is the result?  Typically, you don’t make a choice at all or actually the choice you make is not to make a choice.

Each choice contains within it the possibility to increase clarity and understanding as well as move us closer to the object of our desire.  With this understanding, even a “wrong choice” (one that doesn’t bring us closer to the object of our desire,) is really useful because it helps us more clearly to know what it is we do want.

When Edison was inventing the light bulb, he went through thousands of materials to use as filaments before he found the right one for the bulb.  They weren’t failures because they revealed to him materials which weren’t suitable to use as filaments.

If we approach choices in this way, we can discover the “materials” that aren’t useful for us.  You  have to be willing to try, to choose it, before you know whether it is the right one or not.

Sometimes it seems we only have 2 choices, this or that, when in reality there are actually many more possibilities we have excluded from our list of possible choices.  We’ve filtered out those other possibilities so that only 2 remain.

When both choices seem equally appealing or favorable, we need a way to determine which one will wield the results we most desire. One way to make that determination is to first consider possible choice number one.  How does that feel?  Notice how it feels when you think of yourself having made that as your choice.  If it feels really good, or if it feels not so good, make a mental note of how it feels.  You can even consider the feeling on a scale of 0 to 10, zero being a definite no type feeling and 10 being a definite yes type of feeling.

Then consider choice 2 as though you have taken that as your choice, follow the same procedure as described above.  Once you’ve evaluated both choices, and the feelings they’ve engendered, it may be more clear which one you want to pick.

There is the possibility that both choices will feel really good to you, so if that is the case, it doesn’t matter so much which one you choose, so flip a coin and let that make your decision for you.

The point is, to make a choice.  Each choice we make provides us with valuable information and experience which clarifies for us what we truly desire.  In order to find that clarity, we must make those choices.

The other part of what he said, about being terrified of making the wrong choice reveals he’s made choices before which resulted in what he didn’t wanted so that now when offered choices that feeling of terror associated with those prior choices pops up, sort of like a warning signal telling him to stop.

It is possible that when offered those choices which instilled the initial terror factor, he was very young and didn’t know about paying attention to his inner feelings which, when understood and used, serve as an excellent guide for making choices.

So now, the terror blocks his way for discovery and the accomplishments he desires.  This is the troll at the gate which won’t let him pass.  So in order to proceed, he must get rid of that troll.

How to get rid of the troll at the gate:

The troll shows up when an important choice is presented to us, so we know the condition under which it shows its ugly face.

The next thing to know is that the troll isn’t really here in this moment.  While we may be feeling the “terror” the troll represents, the troll really is only a memory conjured up from within our own self.  We need to understand this point fully and deeply.  In other words, in the moment we are experiencing the terror, we are bringing it into our experience.  Most of the time, this is an automatic response, not one we consciously and intentionally bring forth.  But when it does show up, it presents us with a wonderful opportunity to let it go.  And, that is another choice we have in the moment, is the troll/terror serving us well and therefore worth keeping around, or can we get along better without it?  We must realize as long as we allow it to block our path, we will not get to the “promised land” or the fulfillment of our desire.

You can’t fight with it, you will certainly loose if you do try to fight with your troll, but there is another way.  There is the way of dissolving it which isn’t an intellectual exercise, but rather an experiential exercise.

There is a process you can do called Faster EFT which facilitates releasing the trolls which haunt us and keep us from experiencing our life more fully.  You can view videos and find out more about this procedure by using this link: http://www.youtube.com/user/HealingMagic.  Try it, and see if it works for you, it doesn’t cost anything and may really be able to assist you in being rid of your trolls and demons.

If you are truly on the path of self-discovery, each moment in life expression is an opportunity to take another step forward on that path.  In doing so we uncover more of who and what we actually are.  The more you know about who and what you actually are, the better enabled you are to take the next step which unfolds before us our path.

Each step is a choice, conscious or unconsciously made.  Some steps require conscious consideration while others do not.  As we become more familiar with who and what we actually are, determining which choices require conscious consideration will become easier and easier to recognize.  As we attune to our broader perspective where clarity more fully resides, we can see which choices will serve us best.  Depending on how determined you are, you might choose to deviate from the direct path and enjoy discoveries on the side road.  As the navigator of your life experiencing, it is up to you, , , to choose, and knowing that the trolls on your path are there because you put them there enables you to realize also that if you put them there, you can dismiss them as well. 

In this moment of choice, if a troll shows up, know that it might have been useful to you in the past, and in this moment, you can decide whether it is useful now.  Since you put it here, you are in control of it and can just as easily dismiss it.  “Thanks, you may go now.”  And, with that it is gone. (It is that easy when you fully know and realize the troll is your creation.)  If you should decide you need the troll again, you can summon it just as easily as you dismiss it.

Go forward upon your life path and see what’s out there for you to choose, without fear of doing so.

My Intention and Focus

Simply stated:

My Intention and focus are to enjoy life. To enjoy what I am doing, to enjoy where I am doing it, and to enjoy the presence of those I am doing it with.

You might find this sort of Intention and focus to be helpful for you to use as well.

Best regards, Jerry

YES NO

Yes No

By Jerome Dechant
Sept. 6, 2011

Being aware of how much you use these two words might give you an indication of the balance in your life experiencing. If you haven’t paid much attention to the use of these two words, I suggest you be mindful of when you use them. If you want to be really active in this mindfulness, you could carry a small piece of paper with you and a pen or pencil, and then every time you find yourself using one of these two words, make a mark in a column under the heading which has “Yes” for one column, and “No” for the other column. This is to give you a sense of how allowing or disallowing you are with your attitude towards what life offers you throughout the day.

It may be of particular interest to those whose life isn’t working out like they want it to, or to those who are going through a tough time. For such people, my guess is you will find your “No” list of marks is far longer than your “Yes” list of marks. And if this proves to be true for you, you will have a wonderful insight into why life is the way it is for you.

Another simple experiment I suggest you do is as follows:

With an indifferent attitude, say the word “No” out loud. Notice how that feels to you, also notice any physical feelings you experience. Take a deep breath, exhale it and relax for a moment before you go on to the next step.

Now, with the same indifferent attitude, say the word, “Yes” out loud. Again, notice how that feels to you, notice any physical sensations that occur during and after you say this word. Again, take a deep breath, exhale it and relax for a moment before you go on to the next step.

This time I want you to say “No!” with great emphasis as though you really mean it whole heartedly. Notice how it feels while you are saying it, and how it feels after you’ve said it. After you’ve experienced this fully, take a deep breath, exhale it and relax for a few moments before you go on to the next step.

Say the word “Yes!” with great emphasis as though you really mean it whole heartedly. Notice how it feels while you are saying it, and how it feels after you’ve said it. After you’ve experienced this fully, take a deep breath, exhale it and relax for a few moments.


When I say “no” or “yes” with an indifferent attitude, they both feel pretty much the same to me. There are no particularly noticeable sensations associated with saying these words with the indifferent attitude. This isn’t the case when I say each of these words with great emphasis as though I really mean it. When I say “no” in this way, I get a very halting feeling, an unpleasant abrupt sensation. To me, it doesn’t feel very good. I feel sort of shut down, finished.

When I say ‘yes” with great emphasis as though I really mean it whole heartedly, I feel a great release, a freeing sensation that really feels good to me. When I say “yes” in this way, I feel excited and activated.

Being aware of these associations of feelings and the words we use, in particular these two words, gives us an indication of how aligned we are without desires and goals, and also whether we are energetically moving away from or towards what we desire.

We can use these feelings to guide us through the journey of our life experiencing.

We live in a “yes” universe. That is to say, the energy we send out to the universe bounces back to us and we receive more of the same without judgment from the universe. In this way, it is a “yes” universe. It always says yes and returns to you the same vibration you radiate out to the universe. Another way to understand this is if you predominately radiate a “no” vibration, the universe returns that vibration to you in the form of more things for you to say “no” to. Conversely, if you predominately vibrate with a, “yes” energy, what the universe returns to you will be in the form of more things to say “yes” to.

The No attitude is typically expressive by your arms being crossed across your chest, as one physical posture common to a no attitude. Often this attitude includes tension and rigidness of body.

The Yes attitude is typically expressive by your arms being wide open as though welcoming a friendly hug. This attitude often includes laughter and relaxation of body.


It is okay to recognize our use of the No attitude, and to use it to our benefit. That is to say, use it as an indicator which lets us know we need to redirect our attention towards what we want, instead of continuing to hold our attention on what we don’t want.

The navigation system of an airplane uses a similar method to get to its desired destination. When the pilot takes off, he has a destination in mind, (the desired location.) An airplane never flies a perfectly straight line from point “a” to point “b.” If you precisely charted the course of such a one stop flight, you’d likely see the course was more of a zig zag than a straight line. In other words there are always course corrections taking place to keep the plane headed towards it’s desired destination. If the computer had a voice and could be listened to during this flight, you’d likely hear a lot of yes and no statements; yes as the course moves towards the destination, and no, as the plane veers off course.

If we used the yes and no indicators in our life experience in this same way, we could easily navigate towards our desired goals. You can see that constantly getting no indications is our life experience telling us we are drifting off course from the accomplishment of our goal. If we don’t use those “no” indications as an indicator that we are drifting off course, we won’t successfully arrive at our desired goal. So, a “no” indication is meant to alert us to course correct, that is to say, redirect our attention towards a “yes” indication. This is a simple shift in course that puts us once again in alignment to arriving at our destination.

Another thing you might want to be mindful of is that, this course correcting process is a constant process that at first takes mindful attention towards in order to establish it as a habit that works automatically to keep us heading towards our desired destinations. At first, you might find yourself veering way off course before you realize you haven’t been paying attention to the “no” indicators life has been offering you. So, when you notice a “no” indicator, just simply course correct and find the “yes” indication. (Remember how the “no” and the “yes” experiment felt, and use those as physical signs to help you be alert about how you are navigating through your life.

As you become more sensitive to veering off course, you will always have some “no” indicators and when you do, you will immediately adjust course so that in the overall journey the time spent experiencing “no” indicators will be much less than the time spent in “yes” indicator experiencing.

In order for the navigation system to function, there must be a clear destination set into the system. If you don’t know where you want to go, you are likely to go all over the place with random “yes” and “no” indicators. Obviously, if you don’t set a specific destination into the navigation system, you can spend endless time meandering through life with no particular place (desire,) to guide you or motivate you towards effectively being able to navigate towards it.


Macro to Micro goals

We might want to set macro goals or life goals which are meant to span the duration of our entire life. The Macro Goals therefore are the foundation upon which all your other goals rest upon.

Some examples of Macro Goals:

I have a life goal to always be happy and find joy in my life. Some other macro goals I have are to experience abundance in my life, and to enjoy the company of friends, lovers/intimate companionships and relatives throughout the arc of my life experiencing.

The micro goals are the lesser goals that don’t take as long to accomplish, and so I can have many micro goals throughout my life experiencing. And these micro goals can be as short term as, for example, getting a drink of water.

So not every goal has to be grandiose, that is to say, all your goals don’t need to fall into the Macro goal category, although you could live your life with only those broad arc goals to guide you. Because the guidance system is a constant feedback system, you will continually get feedback and constantly have the opportunity for course correcting. What this means is, you will never get it done, there will always be something to keep you going.

If you’ve never taken the time to contemplate goals, long term and short term goals, it is worthwhile to do so because thereby you enable the navigation system which facilitates you accomplishing your goals.

In summary: The universe is a “yes” universe. Without question or judgment, it returns to you what you vibrationally radiate to it. So, it always says “yes” to your vibrational offering and returns to you like vibrational experiences.

As we use or discrimination ability and are familiar with the “yes” and “no” indicators our life offers us, we can use these indicators to guide us towards accomplishing our goals.

Course correcting is ongoing and never ending throughout the journey of our life expression.

We can become so adept at using the navigation system that we spend most of our time experiencing “yes” indicators and much less time experiencing “no” indicators.

Both indicators are essential in order for the navigation system to function properly. Also, it is essential to have at least one destination set to enable the navigation system to work.

There are Macro Goals which have an arc which is meant to span the duration of our life time.

There are Micro Goals which range from nearly Macro Goal durations descending into shorter term goals which can be moment to moment in duration.

Yes and No are opposite sides of the same coin. We can’t have one without the other, they are bound together.

In conclusion, we are faced with choices. If we effectively use the feedback system, our journey though life can be a delightful experience. Like the need for goals/destinations, we have a need to choose. There are multitudes of choices which infinite potential facilitates, so choosing is an essential aspect of life expressing. There are no right choices or wrong choices except that we make them so for ourselves. The right choice for you might be the wrong choice for me, and visa versa. This is because we are each unique individuals and find fulfillment in our own unique ways. While our destinations might be different, the navigation system which helps us get there is the same for everyone. Yes and No are essential indicators, so embrace them for the guidance they provide.

Having now read this blog, you may never thing about “yes” and “no” in the same way you did before reading this. This could be a good thing, yes?

Best regards,
Jerry

Food and Eating

Food and Eating

By Jerome Dechant
Aug. 30, 2011

Preface: I speak primarily of food in this writing, but intend this writing to also include drink as well, therefore when I’ve written “food” you may also consider it in your mind as saying, “food and drink.”

What is food? It is the substance which we consume to fuel and maintain our body so that it functions properly. If we simply considered food and drink as fuel for our body, and only consumed it when our body required more fuel, we would likely find our body functioning properly and being maintained in an idea state. Of course what we eat is just as important as how much of it we eat, but for the time being, I’d like to consider the “how much” part and consider the “what” part later.

Think about your body in a similar way to your car. You only put fuel in your car when the fuel gauge indicates the level is getting low. Obviously, if your fuel gauge indicated your fuel level was slightly below full, you wouldn’t add more fuel to the tank, because if you did, as though the tank was empty, the fuel would overflow. That is because our car’s fuel tank is a fixed size and can only hold so much fuel. On the other hand, our body has the ability to take on the fuel we provide it, and exceed the capacity of our fuel tank by enlarging the system which has to do with the intake and consumption of fuel. Unlike the car, our physical body can build up fuel reserves throughout our body for later use as needed. These fuel reserves in our body are known as fat. If we are in the habit of consuming more food/fuel than our body requires, it automatically converts much of that excess food to fat and in this way, our body becomes overweight.

It would be a simple matter if consuming food was solely based upon our need to fuel our body. We would simply consume food only when our body required it.

This brings to light the fact that we consume food for more reasons that just to fuel our body. I can speak personally, that one of the reasons I eat is because I delight in what I get to eat. The flavors and textures and the variety of foods available make consuming food a wonderful experience. This alone can lead to eating more than our body requires due to our delight in savoring what we are eating.

Also, eating is often a communal activity where we partake of the food we have, and share it with others. In this way eating is a social activity as well, a form of communal sharing and interacting. What arises out of this reason for eating? For one thing, we may be encouraged to eat when our body doesn’t require more fuel, and we may also be encouraged to eat more than we need to, to please our host and express our enjoyment of the food provided.

People often form the habit of eating as a reward system for themselves. And others may eat as a distraction for other problems they are experiencing in their life. If you think about it, you can probably come up with a very long list of reasons why people eat which have nothing to do with maintaining the health and well-being of their body.

The reason I’ve written this is so that you might consider the reasons why you eat, and in so doing become more conscious of what motivates you to eat. Knowing this can be helpful to move towards a healthier relationship with food and its consumption. It can also contribute to reducing the over-consumption of food for reason not having to do with fueling the body.

What we eat is also very important. This is a much more complicated topic to address because of the variety of possible fuels/foods we can consume. Some consumables are beneficial to our health and well-being while others are less beneficial or even harmful to our health and well-being. Aside from this, there are also other reasons why people eat what they do. Just like the reasons why we eat more than we need to, there are similar reasons why we eat what we eat, and other reasons which don’t have anything to do with the body’s nutritional needs.

It is important to develop a healthy relationship with what you eat just like developing the healthy relationship with how much you eat. If you are eating foods that you know aren’t good for your body, that don’t promote optimal health and well-being, it may be worthwhile considering whether you want to choose to continue consuming food which are not beneficial to your health and well-being.

With your car, if you fuel it with substances which aren’t appropriate for the engine’s usage, your car won’t work properly for you, if it works at all. Using the proper fuel for your car is very important to facilitate it’s functioning as it should. In the same way, fueling our body with the proper food is essential for our body to function as it should.

One more thing, you may have noticed that I haven’t indicated how much you should eat and or what you should eat. The reason are because, you get to choose how much you eat and what you eat based upon your own needs, and really that is most important. There are people who can give you guidance on the “how much” and the “what” part, but ultimately, your body will be the best indicator for you which lets you know the proper “how much” and “what” for your own personal needs.

The first step is to become aware of the reasons why you eat what you eat and the reasons why you eat the amounts you eat. When you come to a clear understanding about these two things, you will find it easier to address the consumption of food (and drink,) in a healthy and life supporting way.

Since we are habitual beings, it may take some time to adjust our approach and relationship to food and its consumption, so give your self time to adjust and develop new habits. How long it takes depends on how entrenched you are in your habitually unhealthy habits of eating, and how out of sync you are with the healthy body which is your natural state of well-being. Remember, focus on what you want. The “want I don’t want” stuff is meant to guide us towards what we do want, so that “don’t want” stuff should be used to cause us to redirect our attention more appropriately towards what we do want. When we focus upon what we do want, energy flows towards that naturally resulting in realizing the fulfillment of that expression of attention.

You might consider applying a similar approach towards other aspects of your life as well, that is to say, consider why you do what you do, and consider the amount you do that. When we become clear upon the reasons we have for doing and or not doing things, it is helpful and enables us to make conscious choices which are in line with our desires and well-being. A large part of well-being is the expression of the joy of life, so consider the joy what you do brings into your life experiencing. If “it” engenders joy, it is worth pursuing and enjoying.

To close, I will present the idea that came to me some time ago. Some of you, who’ve read much of my prior writings, may have already seen this:

The joy of life is to be found in each moment lived. Now is the moment.

Best regards,
Jerry