When Fear Stops You from Making Choices

by Jerome Dechant, Nov. 4, 2011

A friend recently posted a note on his Facebook page which has inspired this blog.  He said in part, “I'm smitten with the notion of romance, but I'm terrified of making the wrong choice.”  (I am pretty sure he doesn't read my blogs, but if he is reading this, thank you for inspiring this blog.)

So, if you are terrified of making the wrong choice, what is the result?  Typically, you don’t make a choice at all or actually the choice you make is not to make a choice.

Each choice contains within it the possibility to increase clarity and understanding as well as move us closer to the object of our desire.  With this understanding, even a “wrong choice” (one that doesn’t bring us closer to the object of our desire,) is really useful because it helps us more clearly to know what it is we do want.

When Edison was inventing the light bulb, he went through thousands of materials to use as filaments before he found the right one for the bulb.  They weren’t failures because they revealed to him materials which weren’t suitable to use as filaments.

If we approach choices in this way, we can discover the “materials” that aren’t useful for us.  You  have to be willing to try, to choose it, before you know whether it is the right one or not.

Sometimes it seems we only have 2 choices, this or that, when in reality there are actually many more possibilities we have excluded from our list of possible choices.  We’ve filtered out those other possibilities so that only 2 remain.

When both choices seem equally appealing or favorable, we need a way to determine which one will wield the results we most desire. One way to make that determination is to first consider possible choice number one.  How does that feel?  Notice how it feels when you think of yourself having made that as your choice.  If it feels really good, or if it feels not so good, make a mental note of how it feels.  You can even consider the feeling on a scale of 0 to 10, zero being a definite no type feeling and 10 being a definite yes type of feeling.

Then consider choice 2 as though you have taken that as your choice, follow the same procedure as described above.  Once you’ve evaluated both choices, and the feelings they’ve engendered, it may be more clear which one you want to pick.

There is the possibility that both choices will feel really good to you, so if that is the case, it doesn’t matter so much which one you choose, so flip a coin and let that make your decision for you.

The point is, to make a choice.  Each choice we make provides us with valuable information and experience which clarifies for us what we truly desire.  In order to find that clarity, we must make those choices.

The other part of what he said, about being terrified of making the wrong choice reveals he’s made choices before which resulted in what he didn’t wanted so that now when offered choices that feeling of terror associated with those prior choices pops up, sort of like a warning signal telling him to stop.

It is possible that when offered those choices which instilled the initial terror factor, he was very young and didn’t know about paying attention to his inner feelings which, when understood and used, serve as an excellent guide for making choices.

So now, the terror blocks his way for discovery and the accomplishments he desires.  This is the troll at the gate which won’t let him pass.  So in order to proceed, he must get rid of that troll.

How to get rid of the troll at the gate:

The troll shows up when an important choice is presented to us, so we know the condition under which it shows its ugly face.

The next thing to know is that the troll isn’t really here in this moment.  While we may be feeling the “terror” the troll represents, the troll really is only a memory conjured up from within our own self.  We need to understand this point fully and deeply.  In other words, in the moment we are experiencing the terror, we are bringing it into our experience.  Most of the time, this is an automatic response, not one we consciously and intentionally bring forth.  But when it does show up, it presents us with a wonderful opportunity to let it go.  And, that is another choice we have in the moment, is the troll/terror serving us well and therefore worth keeping around, or can we get along better without it?  We must realize as long as we allow it to block our path, we will not get to the “promised land” or the fulfillment of our desire.

You can’t fight with it, you will certainly loose if you do try to fight with your troll, but there is another way.  There is the way of dissolving it which isn’t an intellectual exercise, but rather an experiential exercise.

There is a process you can do called Faster EFT which facilitates releasing the trolls which haunt us and keep us from experiencing our life more fully.  You can view videos and find out more about this procedure by using this link: http://www.youtube.com/user/HealingMagic.  Try it, and see if it works for you, it doesn’t cost anything and may really be able to assist you in being rid of your trolls and demons.

If you are truly on the path of self-discovery, each moment in life expression is an opportunity to take another step forward on that path.  In doing so we uncover more of who and what we actually are.  The more you know about who and what you actually are, the better enabled you are to take the next step which unfolds before us our path.

Each step is a choice, conscious or unconsciously made.  Some steps require conscious consideration while others do not.  As we become more familiar with who and what we actually are, determining which choices require conscious consideration will become easier and easier to recognize.  As we attune to our broader perspective where clarity more fully resides, we can see which choices will serve us best.  Depending on how determined you are, you might choose to deviate from the direct path and enjoy discoveries on the side road.  As the navigator of your life experiencing, it is up to you, , , to choose, and knowing that the trolls on your path are there because you put them there enables you to realize also that if you put them there, you can dismiss them as well. 

In this moment of choice, if a troll shows up, know that it might have been useful to you in the past, and in this moment, you can decide whether it is useful now.  Since you put it here, you are in control of it and can just as easily dismiss it.  “Thanks, you may go now.”  And, with that it is gone. (It is that easy when you fully know and realize the troll is your creation.)  If you should decide you need the troll again, you can summon it just as easily as you dismiss it.

Go forward upon your life path and see what’s out there for you to choose, without fear of doing so.