If you are reading this, you have it, life that is. Not only are you alive, but you are also aware, not only are you aware but you are intelligent as well. I can write these things with a high level of certainty based upon self-evidence and obviousness. As intelligent aware beings we experience life. I also believe this is true of everyone as well. What differs between you, me and the next person is our experience of life, but even there, there is commonality which enables us to communicate with each other, which enables us to share experiences and interests, likes and dislikes. Experiencing life is not limited to human beings. This should be obvious as well, there are many life forms which inhabit this planet we live on, many that we are aware of, and possibly many that we are not. We are often forgetful of the facts that all life forms innately have some sort of awareness and some sort of intelligence as well. Consider this last sentence the next time you mindlessly harm another life form.
This brings to mind the reason why I’m writing this in the first place. The reason is to express the value of life, and the value of quality of life which we all share and aspire towards.
I think we can all agree it is not enough just to be alive. A person in a coma is alive. None of us would choose that as a life expression if given the choice; Do you want to spend your life in a coma for, let’s say 75 years, then die, or do you want to spend your life experiencing all that life has to offer, moving about freely and easily, seeing, smelling, tasting, touching your surroundings? Laughing, crying, singing, dancing, sleeping and dreaming?
Regardless of who you are, or where you live, the primal instinct for each and every one of us is to survive. Yes, there are some who do not wish to survive, but I submit that they didn’t start out with that attitude; I submit that the quality of their life has contributed to such a life ending attitude. So, the quality of life is again at issue and therefore is a motivator which urges each of us on to a better life experience, not only for ourselves but others as well.
What will people do to experience a better life and what motivates them to do those things?
What motivates you to do what you do? Are you motivated by fear or by love? The quality of your life experience is largely determined by which of these is your motivator.
Fear has long been used as a means to manipulate and control others. Fears finger prints can easily be observed everywhere we look. Why is the evidence of fear so prevalent, because it is effective? I think we can all agree that it is effective, and most of us can attest to how powerful it is and shaping our lives, our choices and what we do. Take a moment to consider the quality of your own life as it is constrained via the influence of fear. Is this the quality of life you want for yourself? Is there a better way to live this life? I think the clear answer is Yes!
Recently I was talking with a friend about dealing with her children. She said something I’ve heard before, something which has been repeated more than once, springing from the lips of people across the world in many languages; “I’d rather be feared than loved.” What does that tell you? It tells me that many people believe fear is more powerful than love, and it may certainly seem to be true.
This brings me back to the quality of life issue, so let’s look at the quality of life where fear is the motivating factor and the quality of life where love is the motivator.
The quality of life where fear is the motivating factor.
In order for fear to be established, something of great value must be threatened. The more real the threat, the more powerful the fear, the more powerful the fear, the greater control those engendering the fear can wield. Because we value life so much, the threat of loss of life is often the easiest mode of establishing control, then the loss of quality of life is also somewhere in that fear factor. Fear is based upon hurt, harm, destruction and loss.
An example of how fear is established.
Mother: “Pick up your toys.”
Mother: “I said pick up your toys or I’ll spank you.”
Mother: Takes the child and spanks him on the bottom, which startles and shocks the child who begins to cry. Once again, the mother says. “Pick up your toys now or I’ll give you another swat.”
Child: Picks up his toys.
Why did the child pick up his toys? Because he didn’t want to be spanked again, it hurt and scared him.
So, the next time the mother wants the child to do something the spanking looms as a threat within the mind and memory of the child who doesn’t want to be hurt or scared; therefore he complies with his mother’s demand. Not because he wants to, not because he loves and respects his mother, but because the quality of his life experience is threatened.
I bet most of you reading this, can relate to this example as something very similar probably happened to you at a very early age. Not only once, but many times, and sometimes we got spanked but went ahead and ignored the threat until we got spanked harder, and so on. So the escalation of threat is always part of the effectiveness when applying the fear factor. You can see evidence of this on the TV news all the time called Terrorism. Why is there terrorism? Because it works.
Those who promote using the fear factor as a means to an end may seemingly enjoy the benefits of their manipulation and control of others, but in using fear as a means of control, a bit of their illustrious beautiful presence in being is tarnished and no longer available as part of their quality of life experiencing. This is evident in their lack of compassion, their heartlessness, their cruelty. The more one uses fear as a tool to control others, the higher the price for using that tool becomes. And the price paid is in loss of the enjoyment of life, the joy of life. The joy of life is the highest quality of life expression, so while those wielding the sword of fear may benefit materially, spiritually, they are poor and empty. You can therefore see why someone who has abused the fear factor might proclaim, “I’d rather be feared than loved.” The reason is because fear is the only thing left to them. When fear is the only thing left for you, it rules your life, you don’t trust anyone, and everyone is your enemy. This is what those who abuse fear find as their ultimate reward.
The quality of life where love is the motivating factor
The qualities of love define the values of it as a supportive expression in life. Love is creative, life supporting and sustaining. Life begets life via love. Love cherishes and values, therefore promotes growth, caring, sharing, guiding and protecting those we cherish and value within our life experiencing. These are qualities substantially opposite to those of fear. Unlike fear which is based upon lack of trust, love’s foundation is firmly established on consistency and trust which engenders supreme caring and willing abiding.
Let me restate the prior example, this time where love is the motivating factor in driving the scenario.
Mother: “Pick up your toys.”
Mother: Goes over to the child, distracts him from what he’s doing by giving him a big hug and kiss. “You know I love you so much, don’t you?”
Child: Smiles, and nods to his mother, as he enjoys the mother’s positive loving attention. He hugs his Mommy back.
Mother: “Come on, help me pick up these toys, okay?”
Instead of making it a chore, the mother makes it an enjoyable game they both play together. This enhances their relationship because she provides him with the example of a happy loving being. Children emulate those they value in their life experiencing, so taking a loving and caring approach to life experiences promotes that behavior in the children as well.
This example may seem farfetched. You might say, “Yeah right, like that’s ever going to happen like that.” Well, you may be right, it might not actually happen like that, but when love and caring is the motivating factor, creativity can come in to play, and whatever the experience is, it can be an enjoyable one.
When love is the motivating factor for encouraging others to do what you ask them to do, they are more likely to choose to do what you ask because of their mutual love and caring attitude as well as mutual respect. You will also notice a big difference in the language of a loving approach when compared to a fear based approach. In the loving approach, one would ask the other to do the thing while in the fear approach; one would tell the other what to do without allowing him/her the freedom of choice. So you see, love promotes freedom of choice while fear restricts freedom of choice.
It is good to be mindful of our motivators, of our attitudes and of the quality of our life experiencing because being mindful of these things opens us to the possibilities of change. Not only the possibilities of change, but change for the better.
I’m certain we all want to enjoy life fully. By adopting love as your motivating drive, you can certainly enable such a life. If your heart has been tarnished by the effects of fear, you can begin to wash away the tarnish with the balm of love. The wonderful thing about love is it’s forgiving nature. You can be welcomed back in to the Father’s house with open arms when love is the foundation of life. When fear is the foundation of life, there is no forgiveness, now open arms, only locked doors.
I have a key right here to give you. This key unlocks those doors and opens them so you can find forgiveness within.
Abide within the realm where love is supreme.