Self Sabotage

Self sabotage
by Jerome Dechant
April 13, 2011

The single most powerful adversary we will ever encounter in our life is our very own self, the saboteur aspect of our being. This saboteur is constantly within you and knows you intimately. The saboteur knows all your strengths and weaknesses, all your likes and dislikes. The saboteur knows what motivates you and what doesn’t motivate you. It constantly uses this intimate knowledge of you to make itself the effective saboteur it is today. There is nothing this saboteur doesn’t know about you and your desires. If this saboteur was able to be seen, like in a movie, he/she would be portrayed as a brilliant, charming, and convincing person who is relentlessly always on the job, with dedication and determination to go to any lengths to sabotage your efforts at achieving your goals and desires.

When you become aware of this aspect of your being, you may also become aware of how it works and therefore dis-empower it through your alertness in each moment. If you want to become the successful, capable being you intended yourself to be, you will first and foremost have to attend to the saboteur aspect of your being, otherwise you will constantly find its expression dissuading you from moving towards accomplishing your desires and goals.

Some of its tactics are listed below:

Self doubt: I’m not good enough, I’m too weak, too poor, too young, too old, too ugly, too insignificant, I’m incapable of accomplishing anything worth accomplishing, so why even try? What’s the use? I can’t do that. I’d just make a fool of myself, then no one will like me.

Excuses: I need to do something else right now. I don’t feel like doing that right now, I’d rather just sit here and do nothing. If I accomplish this, then I’d just have more stuff to attend to, and who wants that overwhelm anyway? It’s too hard. I don’t have time right now. I’ll do it later. I don’t want to do that, forget about that, that’s not my goal anyway.

Distractions: When you finally get on to a little firm footing which enables you to make some progress towards your goal, you might find your attention being drawn away from what you are undertaking, and shifting towards other things. As an example: You go to the store to buy something and as you are approaching the area where what you need to buy, you notice something else which looks cool and/or interesting and so you might get that instead of what you went there for in the first place. At the very least, distractions cause your journey towards accomplishing your goals to be longer, and at the worst, they may side track you so far that you can never find your way back to, and/or remember what your goal was in the first place.

Lack of motivation: This one is related to self doubt and can also involve excuses. It lets the air out of your tires, and brings you to a standstill. When you first come up with a “great idea” or strong goal/desire, you may initially be motivated to move towards accomplishing your desire/goal. Without focus, determination and dedication to accomplishing the goal, you will quickly lose motivation to go on.

The blame game: You can’t do it because of someone or something in your environment who keeps you from accomplishing your goals. We dis-empower ourselves by empowering people, places and things in our environment. This tactic also may involve self doubt and excuses as fuel for the disempowerment.

The saboteur aspect of your being uses these and other tactics. You might be able to think of other things it does which hampers or impairs your ability to accomplish your goals. Think about the ways you keep yourself from being all that you can be, and whatever you come up with, will surely be something the saboteur aspect of your being has used on you.

--

The duality of you vs. the saboteur aspect within you.

If we adopt the duality approach to deal with the saboteur, we thereby create a division within ourselves which creates an endless battle which can never be won. So, the only way to overcome the saboteur aspect of our being is through awareness, understanding and integration of that aspect into our one, whole being. When we become as one, there is no “other” to battle, to challenge or overcome. There is no conflict to resolve because you need duality to engage in a conflict.

Part of the integration process involves coming to an understanding as to why the saboteur aspect of our being exists in the first place. Upon contemplation of the saboteur aspect, and or a conversation with it, as though it was a separate being from you, you might find out why it does what it does. And you might be surprised to come to know the deep love and caring this aspect has which motivates it to do everything it does. Ultimately, you might find out that the saboteur isn’t your adversary, but rather your beloved ally who is here to protect you and keep you safe. When the saboteur aspect of your being understands that accomplishing desired goals isn’t threatening to your safety and continued existence, you might find that it becomes a guide which instead of leading away from accomplishing your goals, helps you to maneuver more easily towards your goals.

So, my advice is to get to know the saboteur aspect of yourself and integrate it into your overall being. Make sure this aspect of your being knows and understands that accomplishing your desires and goals insures your continued existence. As an ally, it can be helpful when things get scary because you are moving into unknown territory which is inevitable when you are embarking upon accomplishing new goals and desires.

When you don’t know and understand this aspect of your being, it appears to be a formidable adversary, which it truly is (from that unknowing vantage point.) When you come to know and understand the purpose of this aspect of your being, you will find it to be a faithful guardian which protects you and guides you throughout your life experiencing. You will ultimately realize the unfathomable love this aspect of your being holds for you, within you, as you.

Not a Saboteur but rather a noble Guardian.