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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Out of the Shadows

What follows is a blog having to do with the Blog Talk Internet Radio Show (“LightWorks” with Jen and Amy,) I am scheduled to be a guest on for July 2, 2009. By the time you are reading this, the show may have already aired, but you can download, or listen to past shows by going to:



My name is Jerry Dechant, actually, my proper name is Jerome Dechant, but my friends call me Jerry. I am the second son of 3 children. I have an older brother and a younger sister. I was born and reared in the vicinity of Hays, Kansas. I guess you could say our family was a middle class family. We didn’t have a lot of extra money, but we got along pretty well. My Dad was a decent, kind and loving man who worked very hard to support and provide for his family. His career was as an auto body mechanic. My Mom was primarily a housewife taking care of us kids and all those many chores a Mom has to do to maintain the family. She was also very talented and creative as she did crafting sort of things and also made a lot of our clothing. She even made wedding dresses without needing a pattern, and apparently she was well known for this so she made a lot of them. This was a way to make additional income for the family and for herself.

Being the second child of 3, and being only 13 months younger than my brother, I often felt like the unwanted child. And for the most part my brother was my best friend and companion as we grew up together. Our younger sister came along several years later, and being the first girl, got a lot of loving attention from our parents.

As we got older, and matured, my brother began to be interested in girls, and so our constantly hanging out together began to diminish as he wanted to spend his time with his girl friends more than with me.

I didn’t have the same interest in girls, and so I think this is where I began to realize that I was different. Of course, I didn’t know anything about being gay, but I did know that I was attracted to guys more than girls. I didn’t date much, but I did have a few dates with girls.

I don’t know what the initial cause was, but at some point, I think it was about the time I was entering High School, some one called me a fag in a most disparaging way in the presence of many other people who laughed and joined in the ridicule. I guess everyone else knew I was gay before I did, but even so, I never admitted it to anyone or even to myself. .

Being brought up as a Catholic, they said being a homosexual was bad, and that if you are gay, you are certain to be punished and go to hell. And so of course, I grew to be ashamed of myself, of being different. I was afraid to be true to myself.

So maybe you can see how, to survive in the world and be accepted by my peers and others, I hid who I really was, how I really felt, and this is how I sort of slipped into the shadows (as the name of the radio program states,) to hide from those who would hurt me. Hiding the truth has really always been about survival, wanting to be accepted and wanting to be loved.

Why have I told you this about myself? Because the topic of this program is “Being true to yourself, truly being yourself.”

For the longest time, I definitely wasn’t being true to myself or being truly myself. I was always acting, and that may be why I pursued an acting career for awhile, because frankly, I’ve been acting all my life.

I am gonna guess there are many gay people, who haven’t felt free to truly be themselves, to be true to themselves and so I’m here to say each of us does have permission to love and accept ourselves totally and completely.

The thing is, if you don’t love yourself, how can you possibly find love reflected back to you from the world around you? The law of attraction states like vibrations attract like vibrations. What you send out to the universe is what you get back. When you really get this idea, you know why you have the life experiences you have had and are having. If you want to know what your vibrations are, what you are sending out to the universe, just look around you, look at yourself in the mirror, and see the evidence which truly reveals to those who have eyes to see, what they are sending out to the universe and drawing back to themselves.

For me, this is all a work in progress. Honestly, I am comfortable with myself now, and I have found being true to myself empowers me to have, be and do whatever I want to.

What has brought me to being a guest on this show? The unfolding of my desires, the vibrations I’ve sent out to the universe and have been open to receiving. I’ve known about the law of attraction for a very long time, way before the movie “The Secret” came out.

I’ve had a spiritual focus in my life for many years dating back to when I was a young boy around the age of 12 or so. I’ve always believed in miracles, and I found evidence to confirm them in my own life experience.

As an example, when I was about 11 or 12 years old, I wanted a bow and arrow set for Christmas, and I did get one and so did my brother. One pleasant day, probably a Saturday or Sunday, our family went to visit our Grandparents who lived on the edge of town. Across the road from their house was a huge grassy field with vine type grass that wasn’t really tall, but thickly vined together into a grassy mat. Anyway, I went out into this field along with my brother and one of our uncles who was about our age, to play and shoot our bows and arrows around. At some point, a bird landed some distance from me, so I thought I’d see if I could hit it. Well, thankfully for the bird’s sake, I wasn’t a very good shot and missed the bird. I only had like 3 or 4 arrows so finding each arrow after I shot it was important to me, so, when I shot that red arrow at the bird and missed, it got buried in the deep vine grass. I went over there to where I thought the arrow was, and started digging through the grass to see if I could find it, but I couldn’t, so I asked God to help me find my arrow, I asked God to give me a sign so that I could find my arrow. Then, I stood right there and slowly turned around in a circle. At some point as I was doing this, I saw a red glowing line above the grass. It was about the same color and size as my arrow, so I kept an eye on where I saw that and move towards that place. As I move, the faint red line disappeared. I dug through the grass where the red line had hovered over, and sure enough buried deep within the thick mat of vine grass, there was my arrow. I was so grateful, I kneeled down and thanked God.

This is our true domain, when we are true to ourselves, when we truly are our Selves, everything is possible, all we have to do is ask and it is given.

That is to give an idea of some early experiences I had as a child.

Now, many years later, I’ve had the interest in sharing what I know with others, to help them experience greater joy and fulfillment in their lives. To that end, around November 2001, I wrote a little booklet titled, “Gardening Your Mind.” I used my computer to compose and create the booklets, and printed out several copies, compiled the pages and stapled them together along with a harder colored paper cover. I mostly gave them away with the caveat that if the person I gave it to felt it was worth anything, they could pay me whatever they felt comfortable paying me. I also posted a copy of the text on the web which you can find by using this link: http://www.geocities.com/jerry_dechant/gardening.html Another part of this booklet were the “seeds” you could plant in the garden of your mind, and I posted the text version of those “seed cards” can be found by using this link: http://www.geocities.com/jerry_dechant/seeds.html

Yahoo has these news groups that you can join to post and reply about interests which were the subject of the group. I joined a couple of those types of groups after I’d read the book, “Ask and It Is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks. These groups had to do with the Law of Attraction. They gave me the opportunity to share my views as well as learn from the other members of these groups.

Eventually, I was introduced to the web’s social networking MySpace where I created a page and still do visit it regularly. This is where I started posting a lot of the stuff I’ve learned over the years with the hope and intention to reach people who might not have read this stuff before, to encourage such people to seek more of this information for themselves. So, I posted my first MySpace blog around August 2006 and have posted over 150 blogs since then.

You can find my MySpace page at: http://www.myspace.com/jerry_dechant

I’ve made an indexed pdf file of the first 145 blogs which if you are interested in obtaining, I can send to you. I’ve also made pdf versions of the booklet “Gardening Your Mind,” and “Gardening Your Mind Seeds.” Which I can also send to those who would like to check them out.

I could put a price tag on these things, but I haven’t, not because this stuff isn’t valuable, but because it IS so valuable. And because it IS so valuable, I think EVERYONE should have free access to this information, even the poor penniless people. And that is why I leave it up to the individual to pay me whatever they can, and or want to for what I offer them.

Also, the law of attraction is always in effect so that as I give openly and freely, that is the vibration I send out to the universe and that vibration comes back to me as receiving openly and freely as well.

Like the garden seeds, in order for them to grow, we have to properly plant them in fertile soil and attend to them so they may flourish and reward us with the bountiful harvest we intended at the time we planted the seeds.

The information I offer is like those seeds, the information remains dormant until we implement the information into our life experiences. Until the seeds and information are planted and nurtured, they will not grow, and we won’t find the harvest we so richly deserve and desire.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. If I may be of service to you, please let me know.

Best regards,


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